The late Mrs. Eddie V. Long, one of the founders and owners of Long & Son, was a career elementary schoolteacher and lifelong advocate and supporter of education.  It is in her spirit and memory that Long & Son continues to support the students in our community.

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As we embark upon a new year, the staff of Long & Son Mortuary Service, Inc. takes this opportunity to honor the fond memories and reflect upon the firm foundation left to us by our beloved founders:  Lem and Eddie V. Long.  We knew that they would not live forever; and yet, we still believed they would.  Thankfully, their “larger than life” personalities, their venerable wisdom, and their unwavering love and commitment to family, faith, and community can never be forgotten.

More than 70 years ago, after honorably serving his country in World War II, Lem Long, Jr. returned home to Charlotte with a vision of entrepreneurship, leadership, and service.  As a product of the economic and psychological effects of both the Great Depression and Jim Crow, Lem valued hard work and financial independence.  After completing his military duties, Lem went to work for McEwen Funeral Home in Mint Hill.  Lem’s employment at McEwen, a “white” funeral home, inspired him to go into the funeral business for himself.  As a result, he became a licensed funeral director in 1949 and continued serving families until shortly before his death in February of 2016.

In 1947, Lem married Eddie Vaughn, a beautiful and educated school teacher from the Hickory Grove area of Charlotte.  She possessed a unique combination of class, sophistication, and an uncanny ability to simply “get things done” at home and in business.  Mrs. Long possessed a nurturing spirit and had the qualities necessary to attend to the finer details of serving the public.

Together, Lem and Eddie provided their families (blood and business = family) with the personal and professional roadmaps for continued success.  In their honor, the Long & Son staff remains committed to serving the public with the same principles of quality and service upon which the business was built 70 years ago.  We take pride in the legacy we have received and will continue to honor it by providing the service that the community knows and trusts.

In that regard, please allow Long & Son to reintroduce ourselves as the new model of an old classic.  Many of you are familiar with Long & Son because we served your family during the loss of a loved one.  Perhaps you have heard of “Long’s” by “word of mouth.”  However, in the age of technology, most of us are turning to the internet for information about products, services, and people.  In order to broaden our service to the public – physically and virtually – the Board and staff of Long & Son have committed to a revitalized internet presence designed to inform the public about tough issues that may arise when the inevitable occurs in your family.

Please accept our reintroduction by visiting our blog for information on such topics as the importance of preneed planning, staff introductions, legal developments affecting your estate plans, etc.  By broadening our efforts to serve the community in this manner, we hope to continue the Long & Son brand for another 70 years and beyond.

Thank you for your support and Happy New Year!

Erin McNeil Young, Esq.

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“Oh, don’t worry about it dear.  I’ll take care of everything.  It will be very nice.”  Cha ching!

Couple that with the unwillingness of the living to actually plan ahead for the event and you’ve got yourself a double whammy.  But planning ahead now is one way to ease the burden of your loved ones a little bit.  Planning your funeral and communicating your wishes will help your loved ones make those awful decisions when the inevitable happens.  Of course, make sure you are ready to die in other ways too.

Ok, all that said let’s talk about cremation vs burial from a purely financial point of view.  Obviously there are a lot of ways to go here.  I found this site that gives the estimates of funeral costs in all US states.  I’m going to use Arizona prices in this article, cause that’s where I live.

Burial Costs

It costs between $5,500 and $9,500 for a burial.  That price includes a casket, outer lining for the casket, flowers, and transportation.  The driving factor in the price range is the quality of casket and outer liner.  If you want a prettier, higher quality box then you pay more.  The transportation and flowers are basically the same in the more expensive package deals.  Well, you do get a limo for the family and some extra flowers.  But really what does that cost?  $200?  The bulk of the extra $4,000 is in the casket and liner.

Also included in those costs are use of the funeral home for viewing, getting the body ready for burial and into the casket, printed items such as a register book and prayer cards, death certificate, a tent for the cemetery, and clergy.

However, what’s not included is a pretty big deal… the plot.  The cost of a plot varies widely as the cost of land varies widely.  According to Forbes, the average burial plot costs $4,000.  Hugh Hefner paid $1 million for the burial plot next to Marilyn Monroe.

Cremation Costs

It costs between $1,000 and $6,000 for a cremation.  The driving factor in the price here is what type of service you want.  They will do just the cremation for $1,000.  Nothing is included in that package.  For an additional $2,000 you get visitation funeral services and flowers, without the body present.  For the top of the line $6,000 package you get basically everything from the burial package except that after the ceremony they cremate you instead of burying you.

It’s important to note what’s not included in the cheapest cremation package.  Your loved ones are still going to have to have some kind of ceremony.  It also doesn’t include an urn, so that would also be an extra expense of about $200-$300.  There would also be additional expenses if the family wants to place the urn in a cemetery.  They could aslo make some jewelry out of you.  Which is cool… in a creepy kind of way.

If it were not for the plot burial and cremation aren’t that much difference in price.  The cheapest burial and most expensive cremation are basically the same price.  And that makes sense considering you are getting the same basic service.  The only difference between the two is that in one you get a little piece of ground and in the other you get cremated.  The big additional cost of burial is the gravesite, which is understandable.  It’s only a tiny of piece of land but it needs to be maintained for enternity, and that doesn’t come cheap.

If cost is an issue cremation is a lot cheaper.  You don’t even need to have a ceremony at a funeral home.  Maybe your loved ones could do it at church or in their home.  If that’s the case, you could skip out of this world for less than $1,500.

Do you have any experiences planning a funeral?  I’d be interested to hear what you got for the money.

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The topic is awkward on all sides. If you’re elderly, you may worry that just talking about what happens after death could be depressing or bad luck. (Is that wood-knocking I hear?) And if you’re the child of an elderly person, you don’t want it to look like you’re jumping the gun or already toting up your inheritance.

Recently, though, I came across some unusual options beyond the standard burial and cremation. And it struck me that saying something like, “Hey, Dad, did you hear we can turn your ashes into diamonds?” might be an excellent way to get the discussion rolling on how this final act should play out. I tried it.

I discovered that even though my folks purchased burial plots many years ago, they have now decided they want to be cremated. Go figure. I suggested they sell the plots and take themselves to a fancy dinner.

In the spirit of public service to caregivers and their loved ones, here’s a quick rundown of some alternatives to the traditional coffin burial. Discuss amongst yourselves.

Ashes to Dust to Diamonds
As it turns out, your cremated ashes can be made into jewelry for your family and friends to wear and remember you by. In a seven-step process, a company called Cremation Solutions will turn a few ounces of cremains into a diamond; depending on color and carat size, the cost runs anywhere from $2,500 to $25,000.

For $150, you can order a hand-blown glass pendant that holds a tiny portion of the ashes to “wear as a necklace or hang from your rear-view mirror,” the company says.

With the Fishes
Don Brawley got the idea for his company, Eternal Reefs, one day a few years back from his father-in-law, who was watching as Mr. Brawley dropped concrete balls in the sea around Florida to build up disappearing coral reefs.

“He said, ‘I want you to put my remains in those artificial reefs, so I can spend eternity with the grouper and the snapper,’” Mr. Brawley recalled. He did as his father-in-law asked, and continues to do for others, too.

Families can simply send the remains to Mr. Brawley to incorporate into the concrete balls, which he supplies free to seven state agencies to help rebuild reefs. Or relatives can get even more involved. One family placed a wedding ring in a concrete ball, along with a loved one’s ashes; another spelled out “I love you, Dad” with pebbles on the ball’s surface.

The balls can weigh 600 to 4,000 pounds, depending on how many people are included; the largest can handle a family of four. Costs range from about $2,995 to $6,995.

Cremation of a Different Kind
A new, eco-friendly version of cremation was first tried in Florida in 2010. Instead of fire, resomation, also known as bio-cremation, relies on mild heat, pressure and a water and alkali solution (potassium hydroxide) to dissolve bodily tissues into a clear, sterile liquid that advocates say can be safely poured down a drain. Metals from artificial joints, implants or fillings are recovered and disposed of, and then the bones are reduced to ash, just as it’s done with regular cremation, and returned to the family.

What’s so green about that? Resomation uses only one-seventh the electricity and gas involved in flame-based cremation. And it’s free of the mercury pollution from dental fillings and carbon dioxide emissions that are byproducts of the 1,800-degree Fahrenheit temperatures needed in conventional cremation.

There’s a catch. So far bio-cremation is legal in only eight states: Colorado, Florida, Illinois, Kansas, Maine, Maryland, Minnesota and Oregon. New York and New Jersey are considering it. And because this technique requires new machinery, it can be more expensive than regular cremation — from $1,000 on up.

Up and Away
Aching for one last adventure? For anywhere from $1,000 to $12,000 (not including the cost of cremation), Celestis Memorial Spaceflights will launch “a symbolic portion” of your loved one’s cremains (less than would fill half a lipstick tube) into earth orbit, onto the lunar surface, or into deep space. So far, ashes from 600 people have rocketed from Earth, but only one has gone to the moon. That was Eugene Shoemaker, who selected and trained Apollo astronauts in lunar geology.

A medical condition prevented him from following his first career choice as an astronaut. But on Jan. 6, 1998, he (one gram of him, at least) finally boarded NASA’s Lunar Prospector mission and made it to the moon.

Frozen in Time
Hoping to return to the mortal coil? You can arrange to freeze your body (or just your head — that’s cheaper) on the chance that in the future medical science might be able to bring you back. The cost for becoming a corpsicle: $28,000 to as much as $200,000.

Cryogenic freezing has been around for decades now. Some 200 bodies are said to be in storage in liquid nitrogen, and so far it has been a one-way trip for them. (Despite what you may have heard, Walt Disney is not among them. His death certificate shows that he was cremated and buried in California.)

Sustainable Burials
Concerned about burial space running out? If your body is sent to Australia,Upright Burials will bury you vertically to ensure you take up the least amount of space in a cemetery field that is kept in a natural state.

If you’re not willing to go that far, consider a host of green burial alternatives to save money and natural resources. Home funerals and even backyard burials were common in the United States into the 20th century, and they are still legal in most states. The nonprofit Green Burial Council offers a downloadable guide to help plan a green burial.

Why do it? Each year, according to the council, cemeteries nationwide bury more than 30 million board-feet of hardwood and 90,000 tons of steel in coffins, 17,000 tons of steel and copper in vaults, and 1.6 million tons of reinforced concrete in vaults, and more than 750,000 gallons of formaldehyde-laden embalming fluid.

Donate to Science
It’s not too late to get into show business. You can join the Body Worlds exhibit post-mortem and have yours become one of the see-through bodies frozen in action that tour the world, educating audiences about human anatomy. Thousands have already signed up to have their bodies undergo the plastination process, according to the Institute for Plastination in Heidelberg, Germany, which picks up the tab.

If the spotlight isn’t your thing, you can still donate your body to science and have the medical school of your choice pay the handling charges. The University of Florida State Anatomical Board has posted online contact information for medical schools that participate in whole-body donations.

Or simply flip over your driver’s license, sign the back and become an organ donor. Done!

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• Infants and Toddlers: The youngest children may perceive that adults are sad, but have no real understanding of the meaning or significance of death.
• Preschoolers: Young children may deny death as a formal event and may see death as reversible. They may interpret death as a separation, not a permanent condition. Preschool and even early elementary children may link certain events and magical thinking with the causes of death. For instance, as a result of the World Trade Center disaster, some children may imagine that going into tall buildings may cause someone’s death.
• Early Elementary School: Children at this age (approximately 5-9) start to comprehend the finality of death. They begin to understand that certain circumstances may result in death. At this age, death is perceived as something that happens to others, not to oneself or one’s family.
• Middle School: Children at this level have the cognitive understanding to comprehend death as a final event that results in the cessation of all bodily functions. They may not fully grasp the abstract concepts discussed by adults or on the TV news but are likely to be guided in their thinking by a concrete understanding of justice. They may experience a variety of feelings and emotions, and their expressions may include acting out or self-injurious behaviors as a means of coping with their anger, vengeance, and despair.
• High School: Most teens will fully grasp the meaning of death in circumstances such as an automobile accident, illness and even a disaster. They may seek out friends and family for comfort or they may withdraw to deal with their grief. Teens (as well as some younger children) with a history of depression, suicidal behavior, and chemical dependency are at particular risk for prolonged and serious grief reactions and may need more careful attention from home and school during these difficult times.

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• Allow your child to be the teacher about their grief experiences: Give your child the opportunity to tell their story and be a good listener.
• Grieving is a process, not an event: Allow adequate time for your child to grieve in the manner that works for him/her. Pressing your child to resume “normal” activities without the chance to deal with his/her emotional pain may prompt additional problems or negative reactions.
• Let your child know that you really want to understand what he/she is feeling and what he/she needs: Sometimes children are upset but they cannot tell you what will be helpful. Giving them the time and encouragement to share their feelings with you may enable them to sort out their feelings.
• Encourage your child to ask questions about loss and death: Adults need to be less anxious about not knowing all the answers. Treat questions with respect and a willingness to help your child find his or her own answers.
• Help all of your children, regardless of age, to understand loss and death: Give your child information at the level that he/she can understand. Allow your child to guide you as to the need for more information or clarification of the information presented. Loss and death are both part of the cycle of life that children need to understand.
• Children will need long-lasting support: The more losses the child or adolescent suffers, the more difficult it will be to recover. This is especially true if they have lost a parent who was their major source of support. Try to develop multiple supports for children who suffer significant losses.
• Keep in mind that grief work is hard: It is hard work for adults and hard for children as well.
• Be aware of your own need to grieve: Focusing on the children in your care is important, but not at the expense of your emotional needs. Adults who have lost a loved one will be far more able to help children work through their grief if they get help themselves. For some families, it may be important to seek family grief counseling, as well as individual sources of support.
• Don’t assume that every child in a certain age group understands death in the same way or with the same feelings: All children are different and their view of the world is unique and shaped by different experiences. (Developmental information is provided below.)
• Don’t lie or tell half-truths to your child about the tragic event: Children are often bright and sensitive. They will see through false information and wonder why you do not trust them with the truth. Lies do not help the child through the healing process or help develop effective coping strategies for life’s future tragedies or losses.
• Don’t assume that children always grieve in an orderly or predictable way: We all grieve in different ways and there is no one “correct” way for people to move through the grieving process.

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• Emotional shock and at times an apparent lack of feelings, which serve to help the child detach from the pain of the moment;
• Regressive (immature) behaviors, such as needing to be rocked or held, difficulty separating from parents or significant others, needing to sleep in parent’s bed or an apparent difficulty completing tasks well within the child’s ability level;
• Explosive emotions and acting out behavior that reflect the child’s internal feelings of anger, terror, frustration and helplessness. Acting out may reflect insecurity and a way to seek control over a situation for which they have little or no control;
• Asking the same questions over and over, not because they do not understand the facts, but rather because the information is so hard to believe or accept. Repeated questions can help listeners determine if the child is responding to misinformation or the real trauma of the event.

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A child’s capacity to understand death — and your approach to discussing it — will vary according to the child’s age. Each child is unique, but here are some rough guidelines to keep in mind.

Until kids are about 5 or 6 years old, their view of the world is very literal. So explain the death in basic and concrete terms. If the loved one was ill or elderly, for example, you might explain that the person’s body wasn’t working anymore and the doctors couldn’t fix it. If someone dies suddenly, like in an accident, you might explain what happened — that because of this very sad event, the person’s body stopped working. You may have to explain that “dying” or “dead” means that the body stopped working.

Kids this young often have a hard time understanding that all people and living things eventually die, and that it’s final and they won’t come back. So even after you’ve explained this, kids may continue to ask where the loved one is or when the person is returning. As frustrating as this can be, continue to calmly reiterate that the person has died and can’t come back.

Avoid using euphemisms, such as telling kids that the loved one “went away” or “went to sleep” or even that your family “lost” the person. Because young kids think so literally, such phrases might inadvertently make them afraid to go to sleep or fearful whenever someone goes away.

Also remember that kids’ questions may sound much deeper than they actually are. For example, a 5-year-old who asks where someone who died is now probably isn’t asking whether there’s an afterlife. Rather, kids might be satisfied hearing that someone who died is now in the cemetery. This may also be a time to share your beliefs about an afterlife or heaven if that is part of your belief system.

Kids from the ages of about 6 to 10 start to grasp the finality of death, even if they don’t understand that it will happen to every living thing one day. A 9-year-old might think, for example, that by behaving or making a wish, grandma won’t die. Often, kids this age personify death and think of it as the “boogeyman” or a ghost or a skeleton. They deal best with death when given accurate, simple, clear, and honest explanations about what happened.

As kids mature into teens, they start to understand that every human being eventually dies, regardless of grades, behavior, wishes, or anything they try to do.

As your teen’s understanding about death evolves, questions may naturally come up about mortality and vulnerability. For example, if your 16-year-old’s friend dies in a car accident, your teen might be reluctant to get behind the wheel or even ride in a car for awhile. The best way to respond is to empathize about how frightening and sad this accident was. It’s also a good time to remind your teen about ways to stay safe and healthy, like never getting in a car with a driver who has been drinking and always wearing a seatbelt.

Teens also tend to search more for meaning in the death of someone close to them. A teen who asks why someone had to die probably isn’t looking for literal answers, but starting to explore the idea of the meaning of life. Teens also tend to experience some guilt, particularly if one of their peers died. Whatever your teen is experiencing, the best thing you can do is to encourage the expression and sharing of grief.

And if you need help, many resources — from books to counselors to community organizations — can provide guidance. Your efforts will go a long way in helping your child get through this difficult time — and through the inevitable losses and tough times that come later in life.

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Keep in mind that your friend’s grief is exclusive. No single answer to the demise of a person can be approached the same way. Although it might be possible to discuss about similar phases shared by grieving individuals, every person and life experiences are different.

The procedure of grief will take a long time, so permit your friend to continue at his or her personal rate. Don’t force your personal timetable for therapeutic. Don’t criticize what you believe is inappropriate conduct. And although you should produce possibilities for personal conversation, really don’t drive the predicament if your grieving friend resists.

Supply useful aid.

Preparing food, washing clothing, cleaning the house or answering the phone are just a number of of the sensible techniques of displaying you care.

Make get in touch with.

Your presence at the funeral is important. Pay out tribute to a daily life that is now handed, you have a possibility to assistance grieving close friends and household. At the funeral, hand holding, eye contact or even a hug often communicates a lot more than any words could ever say.

Don’t just attend the funeral then disappear. Remain obtainable in the weeks and months to come, as needed. Don’t forget that your grieving buddy might need you much more later on on than at the time of the funeral. A quick phone call in the days that follow are generally appreciated.

Write a personalized note.

Sympathy cards are good, but there is no substitute for your personalized notes. What do you say? Share a favorite memory of the deceased. Relate the specific traits that you valued in him or her. Those words will often be a loving gift to your grieving friend, words that will be reread and remembered for years.

Be aware of holidays and anniversaries.

Your friend could have a difficult time in the course of unique situations like vacations and anniversaries. These activities emphasize the absence of the man or woman who has died. Respect this discomfort as natural extension of the grief method. Learn from it, knowing the significance of the loss.

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Alter to Changing Roles

Families occasionally have a difficult time adjusting to the altering roles the ailment can make essential. If the head of the home is dying, the other husband or wife may now have to locate a job in addition to caring for the residence and children, for illustration. If grandma acted as the family’s binding force before she was ill, her family members may now truly feel puzzled and disjointed exactly where they when felt robust and cohesive.

This sort of changes can alter the methods in which loved ones customers interact with each other. They may act quick-tempered, extremely dependent, stoic or any quantity of other tough approaches.

Take into account Acquiring Outdoors Assist

Maybe the most compassionate thing you can do for your family members during this stressful time is to attain out for aid on their behalf. If someone in your family is caring for the dying individual at home, think about hiring a homecare nurse as an alternative. Have groceries delivered. Employ the service of a housekeeper to appear in two times a month. Your church or other local community business might be in a position to supply volunteers to assist you with any quantity of tasks. And family counseling can be a therapeutic, enriching knowledge that helps loved ones users realize one particular an additional now and extended following the sickness.

Hospices are well-staffed and skilled to assist equally the dying particular person and the dying person’s household. Their mission is to support the dying die with comfort and ease, dignity and love, and to assist survivors cope each ahead of and soon after the death. Get in touch with your local hospice early in the dying method. Due to the fact they do not want to admit the reality of the impending loss of life, too usually family members wait around until finally the previous couple of days of the ill person’s daily life. But when they are contacted quicker, hospices can provide a fantastic offer of compassionate help and care up to 6 months prior to the death.

Stimulate Open up Conversation, But Do Not Drive It

As caring loved ones customers, we need to stimulate truthful conversation amongst the dying person, caregivers, loved ones and friends. Nevertheless, we must never pressure it. Dying individuals normally “dose” them selves as they come across the fact of the sickness in their life. They may possibly not be able to discuss about it right away, or they may only really feel comfy sharing their feelings and feelings with certain family members customers.

What the Dying Individual May possibly be Sensation

Going through illness impacts a person’s head, heart and spirit. While you wouldn’t want to prescribe what they may well come to feel, do be informed that terminally unwell men and women could expertise a assortment of emotions.

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